I hope that…

April 5, 2009

…the next time you’re making pasta, when you’re draining the water from it into the sink all the pasta falls into the sink

…you stub your toe.

…you get into bed and get really really cosy then realise that you have to pee so you have to walk across the cold cold floor to the bathroom.

…your sheets are inexplicably damp when you get into bed tonight.

…you’re walking along cobble stones and you almost trip but not quite and you try to regain composure but then realise that there were a bunch of people behind you watching the entire process.

…you get home and you really need to pee but you also really need to blow your nose at the same time.

…you have a really good dream just before waking up in the morning and you’re on an absolute high because in the dream you’re happier than you’ve ever been in your entire life but then the dream begins to fade from memory and soon it’s completely gone leaving you slightly depressed because you were happier than you ever were before in that dream and you can’t remember how you became so happy so you think perhaps you’ll never be that happy again.

…you finish washing up all the dishes and you leave all the water out of the sink and then your realise that there’s another tea spoon left to be washed.

…you think you have three pieces of chewing gum left so you give somebody two pieces and then you realise that you only had two pieces after all but it’s too late to say it to the person and they also feel awkward because they’ve taken all your chewing gum.

…you bite your tongue


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